About Your Right To Be Upset

This world has taught you that when you feel you are wronged, you have the right to be upset and you have the right to expect and seek justice, but you are the only one who suffers from this.

We have all felt wronged at some point in time by somebody or something. When this occurs, it seems perfectly natural to become upset and embrace the thoughts that this person or thing should pay for what they have done...or at least they should acknowledge what they have done and say they are sorry. Most would agree that they owe you something to compensate for the situation they created.

"This world has taught you that when you feel you are wronged, you have the right to be upset and you have the right to expect and seek justice, but you are the only one who suffers from this."

Even though you may feel upset or angry, this feeling generally only covers deeper feelings of hurt and confusion that you can't seem to otherwise vent or resolve. While feeling you are being attacked or afflicted, your anger often paints a picture for you of what you believe should be done to remedy the problem. You are convinced that you can clearly see how the other was wrong and you are convinced that you can clearly see what they should do or say to undo what they have done to you.

The problem with being upset is that no matter how clear an answer may seem to be, you may not be seeing clearly at all. Your judgement may easily become clouded beyond any form of rational thinking...but you will not see this. Your anger and hurt masks any of your outrageous concepts and actions by making them appear rational to you. While in this mode of thinking, there can be almost no convincing you that you are being irrational. More than likely, any conversation about your current feelings would only be seen as a further attack and will just increase your desire to defend your position.

How is it that your mind can so easily flip and accept totally irrational thinking as being rational and justified?...because this world has taught you that when you feel you are wronged, you have the right to be upset and you have the right to expect and seek justice. You have been taught to believe that somebody needs to be punished and somebody needs to declare they have wronged you and apologize for their actions.

As an example of how we have been programmed to think and simply accept vengeance as normal and justified, consider our thinking patterns when watching almost any crime related movie. At the end of the movie where the bad guy dies or is hurt (the common film recipe)...you simply accept that he deserved it and that justice has prevailed because we have been taught that people should be punished for their bad actions. The movie is actually written to surface these feelings for you because the writers know you have them...because we all tend to see this way. We have been taught that justice is the handing out of punishment and pain to the one who initiated the problem, so, when you find yourself momentarily or endlessly upset at what somebody has done to you or to another, it is simply because this world has taught you to react this way.

Getting upset may be inevitable in this world, but letting go of the feeling, whether you believe it or not, is just as inevitable because you can't hold onto that anger forever. So the question to ask yourself is how long you plan to hold onto something that you will eventually let go of anyway? There is a point where you have to consider...what is the point? Who is this really hurting?

There is a tangible form we embrace while holding onto our right to be upset. This form is dark and clouded and looks for support from others to agree with you and join with your anger, because left alone, anger will simply go away. Anger needs to be fed to sustain itself because anger is not a natural state of being. Peace is the natural state of being and needs no help to exist. Peace always exists and can always be found when you set aside or remove things you have placed in its way.

Anger, sadness, frustration and other feelings generated while being upset or not at ease, are not at all like peace. They are all false creations of "anti-peace" that devour a persons awareness and conscious thoughts so that they may continue to live and grow. Upset feelings never build and never reward...they only separate and destroy. So why do we embrace them so? Why do we often cling to our anger and hurt...sometimes holding on for hours, days, years and even generations? Because our upset feelings are a direct result of not being forgiving. We all know we should forgive...but the world has taught us that we are weak if we forgive, so when we are upset, we embrace instead what we believe is our right to be upset...our right to not forgive.
Simply put, any time you are holding on to your anger and hurt, you are actually fighting your natural desire to embrace peace and forgiveness. Peace and forgiveness will eventually resume because they are the natural and unchangeable result of any action...but how long this may take is always your choice and is always just seconds away from being resolved.

While holding onto your right to be upset, you are the one who suffers. Even if you inflict pain on others in the meantime...this has not stopped your own suffering. You might be able to distract your feelings and thoughts, but your anger wants to be fed and it wants to be nurtured. Anger is like a virus that serves no purpose other than to exist and grow at the expense of its host...you.
You can stop being upset at any time and you can stop being angry at any time. A few simple steps can be taken that will greatly help you get past bad moments and help prevent more bad moments growing from them. Follow these simple concepts and I guarantee you will be amazed at how wonderfully relieved your life will become.

• First we need to do some rewiring. It would be a good thing for you to see that you do not have the right to be upset. To believe you have that right is simply an error in thinking. This is a error in how man visualizes justice and is not a right at all. it is simply a mistaken idea that would be better off forgotten.
• Next, it would be helpful for you to see your 'rights' differently and instead, remember, You have the right to be at peace. Say to yourself, "I would rather be at peace". Peace exists whether you embrace it or not, but you can place things in its way so that you do not see or feel its effects. Anger does not exist...it can only be manifest from an error in thinking, but peace is true and exists eternal. Embrace the eternal. Embrace peace.
• Now, since anger needs to be fed, you can release the anger and the compelling desire to hold onto your right to embrace it, by handing over this feeling to the Holy Spirit and he will fix this thought for you. The job of the Holy Spirit is to do whatever is necessary to draw you towards the light, so you can always know that help is just a thought away. Say to the Holy Spirit, "This thought about 'my right to be upset', I hand over to you to correct. I have the right to be at peace. I accept your thoughts of peace.".
• Conclude by embracing forgiveness and your problem is resolved. You will also have taken a mighty step towards reducing the length of time it takes you to resolve similar problems you have yet to experience. If forgiveness is difficult for you to embrace, consider this:
  • When somebody wrongs you, you can see instead that they are the one having a problem...not you. Even if their problem is with you, it's still their problem. You can pray that they resolve their problem, but you do not need to take anything they do as personal...and even if you do, embrace forgiveness and understanding. Do not confuse this process with sacrificing and just putting up with something...that is not forgiveness. Forgiveness leads to peace, but sacrifice leads to resentment and anger.
  • If your situation includes physical or mental abuse, it may be difficult to forgive because the situation almost assuredly requires you to sacrifice by staying in the situation and sacrifice embraces owing and engenders anger...a very bad and self-perpetuating circle. In the same way that Jesus would go to the gardens to pray...to get away to find his peace, you too have the right to get away and find your peace. Don't stay in a situation that does not allow you to find your peace and practice forgiveness. Leave the situation that exceeds your ability to find peace, then release your right to be upset. After that, you can forgive the person or situation and move on to a better place in your life.

Your right to be at peace never goes away. It may be hidden at times by a busy lifestyle and can be covered over by your direct decision to embrace fear, anger and unforgiveness, but through it all, peace never goes away. It is always there, patiently waiting for you to allow it back into your life and into your way of thinking.
When you allow peace and love to enter your mind and embrace them, your capacity to forgive grows wonderfully and you then experience healing in your life in and the lives of those you forgive. Embrace your right to be at peace and you will clearly see there is no reason to be upset in the first place.

Choose peace. Choose love. Choose forgiveness. Nothing else matters. Nothing else really exists.

Successful People Avoid Getting Upset

 Wanting to be more successful is the plain and simple fact for many people online, probably including you too. Whether it is to get more readers, clients or sales, you work regularly to try and be more successful. In addition to working on different new things to try and test what works, you also usually work on changing your own self in order to be better. One of the things inside of you that may be a obstacle to your success is the concept of getting angry. You getting upset regularly may be the biggest obstacle to your success.

Spending any time on things that get you upset or getting engulfed in unnecessary emotional drama will only result in you spending time on being angry. It is a commonly observable fact that many things in life can upset a lot of people. What you may not realize is that there is a difference between getting upset regularly and getting upset rarely. What many people not realize also is that many times it can be possible to simply feel uncomfortable or disappointed about something instead of feeling upset. Such a change in attitude, of avoiding getting upset, can do wonders. One of the wonders that can come from such a change is the creation of more and more successful trends and results in your life.

In order to be successful online through blogging or any other medium, you have to focus on good things and yourself. You have to avoid getting upset if you want to be successful.

5 Random Things Online to Avoid Getting Upset Over

1. What others say about things you care about.The most common thing that may upset you is what others say about what you do or think. If you think you are right or if you think what you are doing suits you and hurts no one, there is absolutely no need to worry about what others think. You have to focus on making what you work on be more effective, while other people can waste time on criticizing your work.
   
2. What others say about you.This trend can be so personal that it may be the most upsetting form of obstacle in your life. You may be good at hearing people say bad things about your website, but if people start saying bad things about you, you may definitely feel down or depressed. The best thing to do in such cases is to simply realize that you probably have a set of people visiting your website who show their disagreement over what you do in the form of saying bad things about you. Remember that you have a life that you want to devote to being happy. You do not have a life in order to devote it to pleasing everyone else.
   
3. What others think.Every day, millions of bloggers write topics telling others to stop doing something or to change. In the end, none of these bloggers will ever achieve success, results or peace of any kind through such efforts. You have to focus on what you can do yourself or what you can teach. Avoid worrying about what other people think, except when you can use such feelings to improve and create more things to share with others.
   
4. How others treat you.You can learn a great deal about people from the way they communicate with others online. The same way someone may send a rude e-mail reply to you, people may disrespect you when you visit other blogs. As long as you are not being disrespectful, you have to realize that your focus should be on getting closer to your goals, and not on stopping on every stop sign to wonder about the way people treat you. People who mistreat you will always be the same, while you will be successful because of spending your time and efforts wisely.
   
5. What others do online.In addition to getting upset at what others think, you may get upset at what others do online. You may either hate blogs that talk about money or you may hate the way people act on MySpace. Such two trends of hating such topics are very common in today’s online world of social networking. You should realize whether you want to stop again and again to get upset over what others do online, or if you want to analyze such trends and cover the good and bad things of such trends in order to improve yourself.

Do you avoid getting upset?

In the end, success means you make sure you spend your extra time on doing more, or at least you make sure you are not on surrounding yourself with ways to get upset. While it can be almost impossible to never get upset, not avoiding getting upset can result in a lot of time being wasted over torn emotions that require further time and energy to make you feel better. In the mean time, every successful person who avoided getting upset over the things you got upset over is one step closer to their goals.

Do you get upset easily over different things? How much time weekly do you spend ending up upset over what others say or do online? How do your goals and plans of being successful address the concept of getting upset?

Five ways to stop yourself from being upset by difficult people

You will never be able to stop people making rude, insensitive, mean, nasty or negative remarks. What you do have is the choice as to how you react to such negativity. You can either get hooked into it and become upset, defensive or angry in response, or you can leave the emotion with the other person and stay calm, positive and in control. How can you stay cool, calm and collected? Here are some tips to help you.

1. Make a decision not to react
   Have a goal to aim for. Decide that you don't want to react. It means you are clear as to what you are trying to do. It's no good getting upset and then wishing you hadn't, afterwards. Instead, remind yourself from the start that you're going to keep cool.
   
2. Monitor your breathing
   Often when people start to get upset their breathing can alter. This typically happens when people are startled, shocked or frightened. The breathing may be more rapid, more shallow, or may stop altogether. Keep your breathing deep, gentle and calm and this will help the rest of you to stay calm.
   
   
3. Pause before you respond
   When people get upset by someone else's comments, negativity or anger they often jump in too quickly to respond. They then get caught up in the emotions of the situation and can escalate the conflict instead of calming it. STOP. Breathe. Respond. In the moment when you are breathing you might count to 3 or 10; or you might simply remind yourself to stay cool; or you might ask yourself what the best responses would be. Use the pause to allow yourself to think of a clear calm answer and to avoid a knee jerk negative response or retaliation.
   
   
4. Have a set statement to use
   Can you predict some of the negative comments, complaints or snide remarks that you'll get? If so, this means that you also have the chance to prepare a response. The responses don't have to be long or complicated. They simply need to keep you in a neutral calm manner and to ensure that something relevant has been said. For example, I use a number of set statements when people have a complaint to make, or are angry with me. They include "Thanks ever so much for letting me know how you feel", "I can help you" or "That's certainly one opinion". These short statements allow me to say something that doesn't aggravate the situation and gives me a bit of thinking time. They can also help to quieten the other person.
   
   
5. Be willing to laugh it off
   Comments that you might perceive as rude, insulting, or negative are only destructive if you accept them as such. You don't have to accept a put-down. You can deflect it back, ignore it or laugh about it. When you do this the power of the put-down disintegrates. In contrast, when you take a comment personally, get upset by it or become angry you are handing your power over to the other person and giving power to the put-down. For example, one of my clients complained that when she went to a meeting at work, one of her male colleagues would say "Off to the knitting club are we?" She used to get incensed. However, when she gets upset she is teaching her colleague how easy it is to get at her. This will increase the chance that he'll keep doing it. My client and I therefore decided to put together a list of alternative answers she could give. They ranged from "Yes, I'm the President", and "I wish I was, but it clashed with an executive board meeting", to "Yes and I sold my first jumper for $500 last week" or "Watch out for the needles." Please note these are said with a good real chuckle not a sarcastic retort! When you are willing to laugh off remarks such as these you are staying in control of your own emotions. And that is emotionally intelligent!
   

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How Do You Stop Getting Upset?

How do you stop getting upset? You start taking charge of your emotions, that's how you stop getting upset . . .

For instance, you find that your day isn't going so well because you are thinking about something that upset you.

Let's say your boss/spouse/parent yelled at you this morning in front of everyone. That was a blow to the ego, wasn't it?

But do you need to let it upset you any further? 

No.

How do you avoid it? Watch this scenario:

The minute you realize you are getting upset again over something that has happened, turn your eyes to the right! 

Yes! The minute you feel yourself getting upset again, turn your eyes to the right.

To your right, there's a screen with the upsetting scenario you experienced earlier, only it's in your mind. You are replaying the scene where your boss/spouse/parent is yelling at you. 

Oh, no. You don't have to go through that again, do you? Yes -- but in a new way. Not the same way you usually do. The way that upsets you again. And again. And again.

This time you're just going to watch the exact scenario -- then, you're going to change it.

There's the movie screen showing your boss/spouse/parent yelling at you. You are cowering -- on the inside if nowhere else. 

Play it through to the end. Look at how it affected you. Not a pretty sight, right? Afterwards, you probably did things you now regret, like getting mad at someone else for something minor, but you couldn't help yourself and blew up. Or you badmouthed your boss/spouse/parent. Or whatever happened gave you an excuse to do whatever you do when you get upset. 

And what is that? Overeat, smoke, chew, use company time playing a computer game, go shopping and overspend? You get the idea. Whatever it is that you do in retaliation, watch all that, too.

When that movie is over, roll it again -- only this time, roll it in reverse with everyone walking backwards, talking backwards. Make funny noises as sound effects and see how that affects you. 

Now, play it forward in slow motion. Watch as everyone, including you, talks slowly, their tongues rolling out of their mouths, their ears flopping as they move.

Now, start to play it backward again -- but watch as the movie reel unwinds and blows off in the wind.

Check your reactions now to the episode that had upset you. It's not as upsetting anymore, is it?

Great! That's taking control of your emotions!

Now, run a new movie. 

This one shows you in control of the situation. You realize that your boss/spouse/parent was just being your boss/spouse/parent. You understand that, and it doesn't upset you in this scenario. You realize that things like this will keep happening to you until YOU decide not to let it upset you. That it's not worth getting upset about. Decide to do something about it if you can, but to let it pass if you can't. And that's exactly what you see happening in this new scenario. Feel how good it feels to be in control. How do you look when you are in control? How do you feel? What do you say to yourself? What do others say to you? 

Watch this movie clear to the end, then stand as though you are in control, think those thoughts that say you are in control, look like you feel in control. Doesn't that feel much better than before?

When you decide what is going to upset you and what isn't, you've taken control of your life. Always feel the love in your heart when you make your decision and make sure that what you've decided to do is *Harm to no one*. 

Have you done all that? Great! Your life will operate on more of an even keel from now on.

Good luck!

When you've fought with a friend, or lost a family member or pet, you're most likely very upset. Here are some tips to stop sobbing.

Steps:

1. Take deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth, and extend your diaphragm as you do so. Although this may be painful if you've been crying for prolonged periods of time, the purpose is to relax. Continue even if your breathing is shaky.
2.  Once your breathing is fairly normal, try to find where the tension is in your body. Tense up the muscles in this area, hold for the count of five, and relax. Breathe and make a conscious effort to these and other tense areas, such as your shoulders and stomach.
3.  Lie down in a comfortable position in your bed. Turn off the overhead lights, and turn on a soft nightlight or other small lamp.
4.  Turn on some quiet music. Lose yourself in it. Turn this on quietly in the background. Talk to yourself in your head. Say stuff like (Everything is going to be ok) or ( It's over)
5.   Realize that life has its ups and downs. Crying isn't a bad thing and that crying isn't a bad thing to do, but that after a while, crying can actually hurt your body, so it's important to try to relax.
6.  Comfort yourself with the thought that eventually, all this will be a memory, and it won't be as painful for you to think of, so try not to think about it.
7.  Don't be afraid to cry with a friend or family member. They have probably gone through what you have just experienced.
8.  When you are crying you should just look on the bright side of things. If you cannot see the bright side to things, just lie down and go to sleep. You will feel so much better afterward.
9.  Take deep deep breaths.
10.  Think of happy things, just don't think of what made you upset.
11.  Last, if you're still crying or very upset at dusk then go for a walk with a friend and talk about something that will make you laugh and remember to breathe.
12.  Remember to be in a happy place and think about others things that make you happy.
13.  Eat or drink something. This will occupy yourself from crying
14.  Remember that things will get better, it may seem rough now but things will always get better.

 Tips:

• To stop yourself from crying in public, try raising your eyebrows as high as they will go, as if you are surprised. It is very difficult for tears to come out this way. Yawning, or chewing ice, might also help.
• Let yourself cry. The purpose of this is to relax after you've cried enough, and know this is just hurting you.
• Realize that it may take a while to relax, but don't worry too much.
• If you're still crying (as in, tears are still leaking out of your eyes) but you aren't sobbing (your body isn't wracked by heaving sobs, you don't have shaky breathing, and can talk without stuttering too much) then you're all right and do not need to relax any further.
• Try to go to sleep. Everything will look a little brighter in the morning.
• Crying can be good for you. Scientist have suggested that crying when you're upset rids the body of excess hormones (this is why they have a different make up to "fake" tears), making you feel better.
• If trying to relax doesn't stop you crying, go cuddle with your mom, sister, or dog. Just hold them close to you. Feeling the heartbeat of another living thing is soothing. If nothing living is around you, grab a stuffed animal.
• Do something routine, for example using the computer or watching TV.
• Whatever you do, do not go back and think about the thoughts of what happened. You'll just start crying again if the subject that made you cry was thought-wise.
• Have fun with your friends, play a game, and just forget about what happened.

Warnings:

• Watch out for prolonged, heaving sobs. They will hurt your body, and you may have a stomach ache for a few days after. You may also feel sick to your stomach. All this is characteristic of stress.
• Remember that strangers don't know what you're going through, so strange looks will be present. Ignore them.
• Be careful on who you tell your problems to. They can always tell someone else